Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, June 11-17

We were the first English-language China blog to write about the story of the 27-year-old in Shaanxi who was forced to abort at seven months. It broke on the same day that RFH took the opportunity to joke about the gaokao: real questions were uncovered, and they were ridiculous. Also, Louis CK has left the building. Here's our review by RFH.

Chengguan have had a bad week. Kids went "clockwork orange" on them, as Jeremiah Jenne tweeted on Twitter, referring to this story about a chengguan being overwhelmed by a mob of middle school students. That same day, we wrote about poor Josh Garcia, chengguan tool. And here's a chengguan truck on fire. If only chengguan were caught on tape doing what this foreigner in Chengdu did -- directing traffic to let an ambulance through -- maybe their reputation would improve. By the way, where were the chengguan when someone from the US embassy got assaulted outside Elements nightclub in Beijing?

Our post about the London's Olympics opening ceremony drew... interesting responses. A llama in Tianjin is the new Paul the Octopus, able to predict soccer matches. Guangdong's Euro 2012 bikini girls were a hit for a while, until producers decided to cover them with t-shirts. Here's latest edition of panda erotic fiction.

Just as we were talking about men rescuing toddlers from balconies, a three-year-old in Shenzhen died after falling from her fourth-story balcony. And here's a deputy police chief in Yunnan possibly intentionally wrecking someone. Tom Grundy of Hong Wrong, which we've linked to in our East is Read column, tried to arrest Tony Blair in Hong Kong. And The Good Doctor reviewed The Medullary Paralysis show in Beijing -- stolen, one might say, by its as-yet-unidentified opening act.

The weather's been somewhere between very good and spectacular this week in Beijing. Go outside and enjoy yourself. We'll still be here when you come back.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, June 4-10

The Shanghai Stock Exchange on June 4 was spitting out eye-catching numbers, as RFH pointed out. He also wrote about a London Olympics "village" inside Beijing's Water Cube. Meanwhile, The Good Doctor wrote about Beijing's growing graffiti scene.

The Huffington Post, Business Insider and Bloomberg TV did shitty journalism this week. RFH wrote about Eva Cohen's fishy guest post over at Foreign Policy (the picture gave us the opportunity to quote Shaft). We ranted about Chinese officials telling the US to stop monitoring Beijing's air, and this China Daily story that glorifies a Sanlitun cop for all the wrong reasons.

bus driver in Hangzhou who was fatally wounded by debris but continued to do his job has been declared a hero. Bizarrely, a bus in Beijing did unspeakable things to a police car, leaving one dead. The activist Li Wangwang was found dead in a hospital room, and his friends and family think foul play was involved (authorities say it was suicide).

The dramatic rescue of a toddler dangling from a fourth-story balcony found its way onto several traditional media outlets: the websites of the San Francisco ChronicleNY Daily News, and Albany Times Union (and sourced on the Guardian). Within the same week, another toddler got his head stuck between the railings on the fourth floor of an apartment. Our tractor thingymajig post was linked on Jalopnik.

Quick-hit videos: a horse kicking a Ferrari, Asia's largest indoor stadium being demolished, and a dog nursing three kittens. Finally, we'd like to remind you that boys' urine should probably not be used for pharmaceutical purposes, though some would disagree.

Louis CK performed in Beijing tonight. Sorry if you missed out on tickets -- we gave you a one- or two-hour window to buy. Predictably, they sold out fast. If you were at the show, I'd love to hear about how it was -- drop me a note at Thank you for reading.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, May 21-27

May 21 - May 27
We began the week by announcing the winners to our Bar and Club Awards, then proceeded to pillory the Beijinger's Bar and Club Awards party. The post has received 21 comments so far, including several from tbj GM Mike Wester. Personally, however, we enjoy the comments on this post, "Please Submit Your Story of Ambiguous Decency," much better.

On Friday evening, Kris Pickett took a video of a protester in Xidan being pushed off a pedestrian bridge onto a bouncy tarp, then taken away by police. Another fight between American and Chinese basketball teams broke out that same night, while a white guy spat in the face of a Chinese man in Chengdu. Earlier in the week, a Shandong college cafeteria served its students whale meat without their knowledge. A 12-year-old from the same province has earned himself the nickname "China's Messi," and here's a 70-year-old badass in Yunnan who tosses petrol bombs at those who try to evict him. If you need lighter news, try this chicken-raping dog GIF.

This "Mother of All Traffic Jams" post was linked on the Gawker Network's Jalopnik, while we found out that Henry Breimhurst was responsible for this driving-in-China diagram. Valentina Luo's debut post for BJC was about a rumored new political party in China called the Chinese Scientist Liberal Democratic Party.

China Ultimate Frisbee has been getting quite the attention recently, on CCTV-5 and this online Hennessy ad. Hong Kong's NOW TV has won the sports-as-war metaphor with its Euro 2102 promo. Timed with Bo Guagua's graduation from Harvard, a guest columnist came by to talk about princelings at Harvard. City Weekend did something.

Yang Rui says he called Melissa Chan a "shrew," not bitch, and Chen Guangcheng is in New York. Finally, we'd like to remind everyone that nature can be a bitch sometimes, always calling at the least convenient time.
Here, again, are porn sites that are not blocked in China. Consider that our gift to you, China hands -- for reading.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, April 23-29

April 23 - April 29

Where is Chen Guangcheng right now? Or as our Chinese friends on Twitter and the Free CGC blog are saying: "陈光诚现在到底在哪?" If you'd like an explanation of the series, see this post from about 1:30 am today.

The news outlets have been so consumed by Chen that they've totally forgotten about Bo. Just this week, Bo Guagua made his first public statement in the Harvard Crimson, but all we heard was Oxford, Oxford, Oxford (there's a great comment at the end of that post). Then we photoshopped his head onto Barack Obama's body.

BJC uncovered video of another pedestrian falling through the sidewalk in China, which was immediately copied by traditional media like the Telegraph and reposted under their name. American Mike Sui imitated a bunch of people in this video, which is raking up views by the thousands. Leehom Wang sang "As Time Goes By" at the opening ceremony of the Beijing International Film Festival, but he flubbed a key line.

We upset some folks by suggesting Time Out's Food Awards are upscale... though I suspect the offending line, written by reader E, must have been, "I’m surprised that Time Out, a British-owned publication, is so interested in blowing their literary loads all over a bunch of French place"). Natsun, the friend of Jackson, the subject of a controversial "Meet an Expat" column last week, wrote a formal response. A slackline-walker crossed a canyon in Hebei, while a wingsuit-flier glided over Hunan's Highway to Hell. Here's a homemade electric car built on a farm on the outskirts of Beijing, a city that, in case you've forgotten, is hosting the China Auto Show.

And finally, here, again, is Victoria Beckham with Harper Seven at Sanlitun's Opposite Hotel -- a story still without redeeming value.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, April 16-22

April 16 - April 22

BJC's most-commented post so far was Tuesday's "A Story About Journalism," in which I wrote about how a small Associated Press editing mistake led to a whole lot of misunderstanding and anger half a world away. This came a day after RFH's excellent Bo Xilai rumor-roundup, which came on the heels of our inaugural "Meet an Expat" column about a Tianjin foreigner who gave up his American citizenship so he could stay in this country with his Chinese wife and son. (If you haven't seen it, Jackson has posted a long reply on the post.)

London mayor Boris Johnson is on Sina Weibo, though he's almost as bad at Chinese social media as he is at the Western variety. Several months after sweeping Facebook, the Carl Weathers as Kony meme has reached China. And have you ever tried to picture Helen Keller eyewear?

There was a soccer skirmish in Qingdao earlier this week, and hopefully someone cares. This man is the best auto sports fan I've ever seen. This is the best dancer on Wangfujing, especially accompanied by that awesome music. This is the most crowded subway ever, in Japan. And this might be the best homemade Iron Man suit you'll see in China.

By the way, Lola coined the term "frivolititties" this week. If you ever see that word elsewhere, go to this post and tell us about it.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, April 9-15

April 9 - April 15

Did we all survive Thursday's Internet Apocalypse? It happened thanks to the biggest bombshell Xinhua has dropped in years -- no, we're not talking about sexy pics of teen models -- that Bo Xilai has been ousted from his Party's posts and his wife, Gu Kailai, and aide are being investigated for murder (though Bo, interestingly, is still being referred to as "comrade). China ended up censoring text messages, too. (Where's Anonymous and its "death-to-GFW" proclamations when you need them?) I ended up on BBC Radio to discuss these events.

We still hate censorship around these parts. Very, very much.

A lot of sensible websites got trolled by a fake quote, and we're still waiting for them to issue corrections. Here are pictures of Beijing emptied out. And this website has a new No. 2 post in terms of all-time views (will it catch No. 1?): meet Purple Panda!

Two deaths of note in this past week: Mike Wallace and Fang Lizhi (check out TAR Nation's takedown of Global Times's attempted takedown of Fang). This is not how to put a fresh take on advertising -- or is it? Homemade firearms in China look like crossbows, and we'd like to remind you that Baidu is a not a condom.

Finally, here's how Bo's family and associates are being depicted in the media, and that proposed Stephon Marbury statue remains ugly.

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Sunday, April 8, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, April 2-8

April 2 - April 8

If you're not excited, you should be: Alessandro is coming back! Meanwhile, BJC continues to roll out original content, on Tuesday with Jon Pastuszek's retrospective on Stephon Marbury, and on Thursday with Sir Charles Dashwood, as decrypted by RFH.

Jason Chu is the latest to join our "Chillax" feature with the video for "City of the North," part of his Goodbye, Beijing EP. We relived the Ducks' championship two weeks ago with a collection of videos, and let ourselves get taken back to our Nintendo-playing youth in this IKEA commercial, as uncovered by Mr. Smith.

A toddler gets pulled out of a Yunnan well here, while a toddler is seen in a funny posture at Raffles Mall here. Beijingers: watch where you walk, lest you want to be boiled alive, and for the love of civility, expats, Scott Grow tells you to not piss in the streets.

As of this moment, China Daily follows the likes of Tweet Flirt and Ivanka, while Global Times follows the FBI Press Office.

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Friday, April 6, 2012

Alessandro... he's coming back!

Just click on the below tag "Ask Alessandro" if you have no idea what this means. As announced this afternoon on Beijing Cream, Alessandro -- the man, the myth, the legend -- will be making a joint appearance on BJC and China Daily Show next week:

Like many continental men, Alessandro will often greet other males with a kiss on each cheek, but he rarely relishes it
The sunglasses? They’re Fottore-Bans
Did you know? Prickly pears are 30% less prickly in Alessandro’s presence
If Alessandro was an interrogator, your crotch would talk

Alessandro is now accepting questions. Please send to

Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Week That Was At Beijing Cream, March 26 - April 1

RFH wrote the most-read post of the week, “Corruption, Murder, And Intrigue In The Middle Kingdom.” Royston Chan of Reuters wrote the most disgusting China story of the year, abouturine-soaked eggs. Kurt De Raedemaeker, a Flemish art dealer who’s been under house arrest in Beijing since 2008, died of a heart attack.

Have you heard? The taxi fuel surcharge is now 3 yuan. Also, Beijing is home to both the men’s and women’s champions of Chinese basketball. You can watch the Ducks’ gripping Game 5 series-clinching win in its entirety — plus other postgame videos – here. It almost makes one forget how classless the Guangdong Southern Tigers were, starting with its boss, Liu Hongjiang, who inexplicably ordered a human flesh engine search on a Beijing fan that ended up hurting an innocent woman.

BJC’s newest column, To Serve People, debuted with guns blazing. The lades of Beijing cream talked about menstruation. And this Kickstarter project — Chinafornia — is worth supporting.

Sina and QQ Weibo were ordered to shut down their commenting feature for three days for not censoring their users more closely. Meanwhile, China’s crusade against “illicit content” on the Internet has led to its newest campaign, Spring Breeze.

Special shout-out to @niubi of Sinocism, who had nice things to say about this site, and Shanghaiist for linking to our Traffic Light series. Now if only we could extend our compliments toChina Daily, who is still not following @beijingcream.

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