Don't do it in an alley.
Don't do it in an alley with lots of people.
In short, don't do it in Nanluoguxiang.
My friend Alex was walking through NLGX yesterday when a firework burst near him and some shrapnel sliced his chin. He bled somewhat profusely and might have needed stitches if he weren't lucky. See the picture to the right.
He demanded an apology from the person who set off the firework, but the guy apparently basically replied, "This is China, I do whatever I want."
"I was just MAD," Alex said. "Ginny had to restrain me from bashing that man's fat face in."
This is the sort of thing that happens when
cultures collide a fella gets hit at close range with a firework. He gets MAD.
"I'm most angry about the man's lack of remorse and the fact that he and his buddy set off more of them in our faces just to piss us off," he said.
I asked Alex to write a guest post, but to his credit, he deferred, fearing he'd come off "horribly racist and xenophobic," when in fact all he wants is to express his anger at getting cut by a gunpowder-fueled projectile.
So this post is for you, Alex. You now join the esteemed Jeff Orcutt as known acquaintances to get hit by fireworks. May you consider your scar a badge of honor. You're a small part more Chinese today.