Thursday, February 9, 2012

"Oh yes," says CNN. Also: CYBER CANNIBALS! GAHHHHHHHH

Short of excerpting 1984, this is the most Americanized and utterly awful lede to a China story that I have ever seen:

Do you ever get the feeling you are being watched? Closed circuit cameras recording your movements, strange noises on the phone line, phone calls that suddenly stop, emails being monitored, and private computer files and Facebook being hacked into. Oh yes, secrecy is no secret in China. Privacy is anything but private.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are being watched... in the shower? DUM DUM DUM. You should probably invest in bathroom curtains.

Here's some good ol' Cultural Revolution-era fearmongering in addition:

But it isn't only the authorities that people in China need to fear -- they may want to be wary of each other. A neighbor, a boss, a former friend... anyone is a suspect, anyone can be a so-called "cyber cannibal."

Never mind that this CNN story is about two years out of date the moment it appeared on its website about two hours ago. Never mind that others have written about this topic -- more than a month ago -- with much more objectivity and depth. Just enjoy sentences like these:

But on the web there is nowhere to hide from the prying eyes of china's cyber cannibals.

Stan Grant knows nothing about the Internet, or China, or, it appears, the shift key.

Nicely done, CNN, for confirming my belief that you suck.

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