Tuesday, May 6, 2008

You can't claim to "parody" hip hop when you use brunette sluts. Sorry, white people

I'm going to step out of China real quick to show you something I find detestable. This is it:

And now some explanation:
  • The title of this post is a bit harsh. I don't actually know that those brunettes -- yes, yes, they're very hot... in order to proceed, you have to get over this fact; try imagining they have genital warts -- are sluts. They very well may just be teases. Or just very friendly. Whatever. I'm going to allow myself this shorthand...

    You cannot claim to parody hip hop when you trot out two hotties in mini-skirts and have them do a suggestive dance. CAN. NOT. The reason "Low" is such a ridiculous song is because Flo' Rida somehow managed -- with complete lack of irony, it would seem -- to make all of it about sex. Take this excerpt of the lyrics:

    That's what I told her, her legs on my shoulder
    I knew it was ova, that Henny and Cola
    Got me like a Soldier
    She ready for Rover, I couldn't control her
    So lucky oo me, I was just like a clover
    Shorty was hot like a toaster
    Sorry but I had to fold her,
    Like a pornography poster

    And in the parody, we have two hot brunettes playing exactly into this. And if you're playing into it, isn't that the opposite of parody?

    If you must have girls in a hip hop parody video, they should be dressed conservatively, or at least look like they'd be worse fucks than a serrated hole on a soggy cardboard box. Otherwise, with all that flesh and gyration, why not just make a hip hop video?

  • To be funny, it always helps when you're self-deprecating, and the people in that video were decided not that. Perhaps they were laughing at themselves, but for all the wrong reasons. They were making fun of Flo' Rida and, if you extrapolate a bit, hip hop culture.

    Now, I understand it's a bit unfair to accuse these guys of basically being a little implicitly racist. For all I know, they could have a deep appreciation for hip hop and find Flo' Rida truly offensive for setting the genre back 10 years. I grant this is a possibility, and not all that unlikely. Still, if we take this parody video in isolation, what we see is a bunch of a white people seizing upon an aspect of black culture and saying, "See how ridiculous this is?"

    I think I understand what they were going for, though. They want you to see how uncool white culture is, with their polo shirts and suntan lotion. But the actors are so poorly disguised in this video -- they don't look like hipsters or intellectuals on a tennis court; they look like college kids, probably in fraternities and sororities, with a bit too much time on their hands -- that this point gets completely lost.

  • My next point elaborates on the previous one: these white people are trying to be hip. Look at their expressions. The way they flick their wrists. The guy thrusting his pelvis. They're trying to look cool. And so, basically, they're reenacting the Low video, only they expect you to laugh because 1) they're not black, and 2) they've replaced "low" with "polo." Oh, haha, get it?

    They've coopted the best parts of Low -- I'm serious here... the rhythm, the girls and that part where Flo' Rida flicks his wrist amid the strobe lights -- and dismissed everything else just because.

  • My American -- and white -- friend Rob agrees the parody video sucks, but he says it's because the original song sucks. This is patently untrue for two reasons:

    1. The original song isn't bad. I first heard it in Baton Rouge and thought it was just a Southern thing, but then it sort of exploded. I tried my hardest not to like it, but eventually I gave in. The refrain is quite catchy, as Paul -- another white American friend -- can tell you, as he sang it at least 65 times over Mardi Gras weekend.

    2. The quality of a parody never, ever depends on the quality of the original. One could even argue that the only reason for a bad song/video's existence in the universal scheme of things is to be parodied. That Rob thought "Low" was so bad should only have helped those who attempted to parody it.

      So why did Rob still think the parody was bad? See the aforementioned reasons.

Personally, I think the following is better, its brilliance lying in its utter disregard for the audience. This is what a parody should strive for: imitating the evocation of the original, instead of a mere remaking with different actors.

The video gets better when you look at the comments (I've pasted for you comments No. 9-18). The Chinese equivalent of this sort of culture I have yet to uncover.

this sucks, WTF??!

fucked video!!
go suck ur moms dick





this video is bullshit!!


stupid crap


That was the most retarded shit i've ever see

I gave a thumbs up to the "HAHAHAHA."

Incidentally, "go suck ur moms dick" is exactly the phrase I wanted to use in my comment to the white people's parody video.

Okay, I've made you wait long enough. Here's Flo' Rida with the original that got this all started...

1 comment:

Lionel said...

I for one, am thankful that they used hot brunette sluts, as they were the only reason I had to continue watching this piece of crap. Parody or not, it otherwise sucked. Can't hold a candle to this, either: